chip waxes philosophic...

Dear Beloved Family,

It seems there've been some requests for direct updates from me…so while the Lady is off drinking her weird, hot dark water, and grumbling about "I didn't sign up to be a maid" while picking up soft, nice smelling things off the floor, I thought I'd dash off a quick note to let you know how I'm doing.

I'm doing fine.

I was surprised to learn that so many of the Lady's blog readers thought I was a boy dog. Hmmm. I don't think I look overly masculine, but you know how humans are. They think we all look alike. That always makes me chuckle. I guess if you're not sniffing butts, it's considerably harder to tell.

The snow has been great! Every time I go out, it gets all caked into my fur, and the Lady finally realized: you just have to wait until it melts out.

I've had a little time to myself this weekend. The Lady and the Man left for a good stretch of time. Something about a Pete Yorn concert. I overheard her talking yesterday morning. She said it was good, but that it was "no Park City, Utah show." Not as intimate. Too many people. And apparently she doesn't like people all that much. Which probably explains her attachment to me.

If only I could get across how the butt sniffing can really help you sort out who's who and how they stack up. Not only that, but sniffing, in general, shows you how to tell the flowers from the weeds. Helps you find the best places to pee, too.

Until next time…

Chip "I am female dog" Smith

Comments

[maria]

OMG, I am cracking up! I loved reading Chip's new letter...and I'm surprised to find out she is a lady! I guess I always thought she was a boy. Stand myself corrected :)
Sorry to hear the concert was too crowded!

[Kim B.]

Chip, I wanted to let you know that I knew all along you were a girl. I'm laying in my mom's lap right now and she read your note to me. Humans aren't all that superior now are they? Glad to hear you have a nice family to take care of you. Love, Selma (I'm a cat being)

[andie]

Dear Chip,
I am sorry that I thought you were a boy dog. I should have known you are way to pretty to be a boy!! your fur is such a beautiful golden red....you know i have a boy dog at my house if you ever want to play..his name is Jett and he thinks you are pretty too. =)
Have fun in the snow (we don't have any in Texas)
Andie & Jett the Wonder Dog

[Dale Anne]

Too funny.....you made my day reading this blog entry!!!
Brought back memories of our female black cocker spaniel - Brittany!!!

[Valerie]

Chip -
Elvis the WonderKat here. i realize by Human Standards we are mortal enemies, but i just wanted to tell you that we also in the cat world suffer from the same discrimination.
the Humans assume we cats are all girls. hrumph.
it's hard work raising theses Humans. then, when you finally get 'em just where you want 'em, something always happens and the process starts all over again.
tell the Lady i don't even know who Pete Yorn is. but i know crowded and i don't like it, either.

i'm off to wheedle some catnip out of the HumanGirl here. she's such a pushover.
paw peace!

[Jennifer]

love it! hope to hear from chip again soon...

[Steph]

my dear chip,

although i am a feline and not such a beautiful canine as yourself, i can completely sympathize. my human lady honestly believes that the basement is a fit environment for me to sleep in every night. does she not realize that it is cold down there? although, i must admit that the clean, folded piles of laundry are quite comfortable. all the better to clean myself on and to get rid of a fur ball or two, i say.

in sympathy,
maggie mae (insert eye roll here - yes, i do realize that she named me after a rod stewart song :p - no accounting for taste among those human types)

[kelli]

Oh, Chip, I realized you were a girl, you're too pretty to be a boy!
You really should join forces with that lady and write a book. With her pictures and your talent for writing, it would be great.

[Meg McKenzie]

Welcome back chip and apologies for mistaking you as a boy!!! What was I thinking!!! Fantastic post Cathy!!

[Dee]

Im sure glad I wasnt drinking my weird, hot dark water while reading, or I would have said hot dark water all over keyboard and screen.

And there you go, I thought that Chip was a boy name, so thats why the assumption. But we all know what assuming does.....LOL

Sorry the concert wasnt as good this time round.

Dee, and her cat that thinks she is a dog.

[Sinead]

Chip (and Cathy)

You "crack" me up! :) Thank you for reviving an otherwise hopeless day.

[PJ]

Thanks, you make me smile!
And I needed that!

PJ

[Michael Ann]

How I wish I had your talent for wittiness! I'm glad to see Ms. Chip is doing well. Enjoy the snow!

[Barb]

Dear Chip,

These humans are sure some pieces of work, aren't they? I mean, really, it's we canines who sleep in the dining room sun all day and don't do much more than that but eat. One of these days they'll figure out who really has it good.

Glad to see you found a place to drop the logs. Snow is fun, but when it's up to your tail, it really can be a pain in the ass.

Love,
Olive the Wonder Dog

[September Radecki]

Dear Chip,

Wow, what is that white stuff? I live in California with my human family and I detest hats. how do you feel about hats? Anyone in a hat is a bad person if you ask me, oh yea, and if they drive that BROWN truck, they're TRULY EVIL. Oh wait, where was I? That white stuff. Is it fun? Does it smell good? Taste good? Why is your nose all covered in it?

My Lady is knitting some kind of bag and she keeps mumbling your lady's name... what's up with that? Do you have a sweater? My Lady made me a sweater, but the big dog was jealous and clawed a huge pull in it so now I can't wear it. Big dog is always jealous.

Gotta go. There's a squirrel on the fence that seems to NOT realize this is MY turf.

Your friend,

Angelica Robodog Radecki, San Jose, California
--Yea, that's my real name, can you even believe it? These humans are weird.

[Nicole]

Dear Chip,

I am often mistaken for a female, even though I am a big boy. I am often told by some of the humans that say hello and pet me, that I'm small for a greyhound. I thought 74 lbs. was quite average. Anyhow, excuse their ignorance, they some times are quick to judge based on a name or by not looking.

Love,
Santo the BOY Greyhound

[deb munn]

Hi Chip,
Thanks for the update. We were wondering how you were doing. Funny how those humans are... they mistake us for boys all the time too. I guess that's why the people who groom us put those stupid bows in our fur. Man that's annoying.
You're so lucky to have all that snow... we haven't had much of anything here in Boston... just a lot of rain.
We hope you are enjoying your stay with the lady and the man.
They seem to really like having you around.
Peace,
Zoey and Lola the girl Cairn Terrier and the girl Cockapoo...
as if YOU couldn't tell!

[erin yamabe]

sweet dog, i had a golden growing up, miss him! he was oh so dumb, but soooooo lovable!!! thanks for the trip down mem lane:)

[Suzanne]

Great post Chip! :-)

[wendy myers]

OK, So why in the world would the lady name you Chip if you are a Girl dog?

Perhaps Chipetta or Chipanella might be appropriate?

Something must be done to girl you up a bit, perhaps a bow in your hair, or maybe even if painted toenails.

Just a thought. Enjoy your time alone, they will be back soon.

[Beth]

Dear Chip,

You are a lovely lady, I must say. I used to be more of a lady's man but that was before the fateful visit to the vet! My Lady has a brother named Chip so she also thought that you were a boy. But one look at your lovely face and I could tell that you were a girl!

My Lady is forever pointing at dogs who look like you and saying that she was supposed to have one of those. Instead, she got me, a black and tan hound dog. I was a rescued dog and a pretty cute puppy so they brought me home. She does say that I'm pretty good looking but since I'm now just a big puppy, they aren't always so happy with my antics.

No one gets the smelling thing like I do - I pretty much have my nose buried in the ground at all times. I can smell out anything and I LOVE squirrels. I, too, love to sniff a good butt but My Lady's friends are not so keen on it. I don't get that.

Our snow is nearly gone but isn't is wonderful?? I love to go out and eat lots of it! I don't have your long hair so that's not a problem.

Anyway, it sounds like they're taking pretty good care of you. At least you're not on a leash or in a crate. The perils of being a puppy.

Take care,

Alex the dog

[suetreiber]

you are killing me. You need to write another book, just like this. I love the snow on Chip's nose. My dog loves to burrow in the snow too.

[shelley esterholt]

so funny!! :)

[susan opel]

a lesson in point of view - FUN!

[Erin]

OMG! Thanks for the laugh, and yes, I thought Chip was a boy. Probably because the only other chip I know is actually a Charles.

[Samantha Raymond]

Love the dog comment's. Thought of you as I was waiting on the help deck for my NZ internet provider I hug to sort out a sick internet. The whole time on my very long wait was Neil, Crowded House and Split Enz. During my frustraion of waiting SO long, all I could think of was how Cathy Z would be in heaven and wouldn't be as pissed at the wait, due to the cool tunes.

[Mel in New Zealand]

Hey Chip, Max, here. I'm a Kiwi cat and I'm a girl, too. Damn stupid humans give us names like they wished we were some other sex. I'm Max (for Maximum Cat) but the humans got sick of everyone saying "Come here boy" so I also respond to Maxie. More girl-like they think. I don't care really - so long as they feed me.

[Kelli Johnson]

;o) I love chipisms...they are so great to start my day to :)

[paige]

man, i laugh right out loud every time i read your chip updates......... too dang funny!!!! & yes i too thought she was a 'he'-please forgive.
has she officially moved in with ya'll or what!! anyway, love reading your blog...oh yes, &i too have become addicted to the yoplait yummy smoothie...thanks for the scoop on that treat!!
signed...paige-fellow lover of goldens!!

[Jennifer Childs]

Dear Chip...

With a name like yours, what else were we supposed to think? Damn those bisexual names!
Hey...while i have you here, tell the woman she needs to put all of your letters into a book...We'd all buy it!
Enjoy and i can't wait til you figure out how to teach us the butt sniffing thing...maybe we could use the techique to let us know who is a pain in the ass before we get to know them too well!

Jen
ps...my boxer Penny was super bummed when I told her you were a chick...she SO wanted you.

[chantille]

Hi Chip

I'm Tilly and I'm almost 4 years old but just because I'm real small (a short legged jack russell) people still think I'm a little pup so I know how annoying these humans can be mistaking us for things we are not. Still wouldn't swap the lady who looks after me for the world. As for the snow, here is in the south of England we don't get much and just as well, it gets makes my feet all wet and cold, don't like it one bit!