this has been the toughest season EVER in the two seasons of Rock of Love
Yeah, that's right. You totally heard me.
I could stand up and lie to each and every one of you and say something like, "WHAT? Rock of Love? What's THAAAAAT?"
But it is what it is: a freaking train wreck of silicon-laden 'smokin' hot hotties' that you sort of can't look away from. (Well, maybe YOU can... but I'm here today to stand up and admit that I am powerless over MOST of VH1s offerings.)
You can ask Dan... I will sit there providing a one-sided, running commentary during the hour I spend with Bret and the girls, tossing out things like: where do they FIND these people? who would want boobs THAT big? I cannot IMAGINE competing with 11 other women and watching you make out with them every day! WHY WON'T HE TAKE OFF THAT BANDANA?
And yet, I still can't look away.
To be fair, I don't watch it on Sundays, when the new shows air. No… I wait, until at some point during nightly channel flipping, it suddenly appears. And then I have a DYING NEED TO KNOW if Daisy has been able to string together sentences containing both nouns AND properly conjugated verbs.
I'm almost more ashamed to admit all of this than I ever was to admit I was a smoker.
And if you didn't happen to catch this clip, it's so frighteningly real that I almost don't know if I should laugh, or scream: WHY WON'T HE TAKE OFF THAT BANDANA?
OMG - I'm right there with you. DH can't believe I watch it - but I also can NOT turn away!They are such a bunch of skanks - but it fascinates me that they seem to really want to win!!
Posted by: Deb | March 27, 2008 at 10:07 AM
I knew this too would happen to me if I started watching it so I refuse. Not because I am too good for it but because I know that I would get sucked in like a big black hole. VH1 is like crack for me too.
Posted by: Alison | March 27, 2008 at 10:12 AM
that was too funny! and so true to the real show i cant believe it. hmmmmm does that mean i admit to watching it?
between brett and celebrity rehab i think my dh is embarassed to know me
Posted by: stacy | March 27, 2008 at 10:18 AM
Don't forget the other question---who sits around in bikinis all day? I mean, besides you, me and the women on this show...who else?
Posted by: Amy | March 27, 2008 at 10:25 AM
I completely agree...for awhile I tried to hide it from DH...but got busted when it was on Tivo...lol. I completely agree with everything you said. It bugs the hell out of me when he is on a date with a girl and another girl comes and barges in...who would do that? and WHY OH WHY does he give them the time of day when they do that? IT KILLS me. But yes of course I continue to watch. Okay...last thing... I really like Amber and can't figure out why she is even on this show...isn't she too good for this?
Posted by: Jenn | March 27, 2008 at 10:26 AM
I caught the clip on SNL - cracked me up!! I have always loved Amy Polson "rockin' one leg"!! :)
Don't feel bad, Cathy - everyone has to have a television vice - mine is Big Brother. ;)
Posted by: Tracy | March 27, 2008 at 10:35 AM
OMG!!!!! That was the funniest thing!!!! Thanks for sharing. My fav show is The Girls Next Door. I don't know why, it is like watching a very bad accident!!!!!!!!!! Don't want to look, but can't stop!!! Have a good one!!
Posted by: michele | March 27, 2008 at 10:45 AM
I obviously watch the show too much, too. When I started the video, I instantly was able to identify Peyton, Kristy Joe, and Daisy! SNL nailed that skit - thanks for sharing. So who do you think is going to "win"? Amber and Jessica seem too normal to be there. Daisy seems too plastic! Destiney is just...skanky.
Posted by: AmyInKy | March 27, 2008 at 10:46 AM
WHY WON'T HE TAKE OFF THAT BANDANA?
Easy. Because then the wig would fall off.
I'm hoping VH1 gives Heather her own show. I'd totally watch that.
Posted by: Miss M! | March 27, 2008 at 10:47 AM
Ya, I farted! Jealous?!
OMG! I adore Amy Poehler. Bwahahahaha.
Posted by: Sara | March 27, 2008 at 11:43 AM
As a mature woman I can't for the life of me figure out why I watch Rock of Love, but I do. I'm stil bummed out that Kristy Joe left, they would have been perfect for each other. I'm just hoping that she comes back for Rock of Love "The Third Time's the Charm" next year.
Posted by: Rosemary | March 27, 2008 at 11:45 AM
I watched the SNL with that clip and it was so hilarious.
Posted by: Kelli | March 27, 2008 at 12:02 PM
After watching this week's episode, I really think he should go back and pick Heather from last year. She is too perfect for him.
@ Miss M!: You're exactly right. He can't take off the bandana because it secures his horrid fake weave. Embrace the bald, Brett! Embrace the bald!!!
Posted by: Kerry | March 27, 2008 at 12:03 PM
Amy P. is so funny
Posted by: Katie Scott | March 27, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Okay...true confessions...caught up in Season 1 beacause they did a marathon leading up to the Meet the Parents episode...I cannot bring myself to start watching II because I ::KNOW:: I'll be right there in it...late at night when the kids are asleep...who can beat Heather and Jes...and crazy Lacey???
Posted by: Sophie | March 27, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Here's what really kills me...I thought the women on the Flavor of Love were awful. But somehow the producers of Rock of Love managed to find women who made the ones with Flavor of Love look like nuns. It is never ceases to amaze me.
Posted by: Jennifer | March 27, 2008 at 12:30 PM
That is tooooo funny. I hardly watch tv, but when I do, it's trashy VH1 tv. And they play each episode so many times that I can catch up in one day. I'm waiting for New York and Taylor Made to break up so I can watch I Love New York III. That would be "osome."
Posted by: Deena | March 27, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Ah yes, car-crash TV, rock 'n' roll style.
My theory is that the bandana is holding on a hair weft that is covering a bald spot. Because seriously, how many of us can say we had long, bleached blond hair all through the 80's, 90's and most of 00's and still have any of it left?
Posted by: Rhomany | March 27, 2008 at 01:32 PM
OMG! I hate to admit it but I was googling spoilers for the last episode right before I checked in with your blog for the day!!
It's exactly like a freaking train wreck. Try as you might YOU CANNOT LOOK AWAY!!
Posted by: Jonna | March 27, 2008 at 01:37 PM
Isn't the SNL clip hilarious?? Seriously, I almost peed my pants :D
Posted by: elizabeth | March 27, 2008 at 01:42 PM
That is the funniest thing I have ever read! If you go on a comedy tour, please let me know. I find you extremely hilarious and a girl after my own heart in many ways!! Thanks Cathy!
Posted by: Jenn B | March 27, 2008 at 01:57 PM
This is the SECOND season of this?? He didn't find true love the first time around?? Really?? Maybe the first gal pulled off that bandana and saw that big bald spot and ran away.
Posted by: Tracy B (inAlberta) | March 27, 2008 at 02:01 PM
THanks for the education. I had never heard of this show before, too busy watching TLC I guess. I feel more worldly now. Keep being real.
Posted by: Susan | March 27, 2008 at 02:08 PM
I don't watch "Rock of Love", but I have to admit to being a frequent viewer of many VH1 shows - "Flavor of Love", "I Love NY", "Scott Baio's 45??...", "Celebrity Rehab", "My Fair Brady". Is that enough of a confession? LOL They are like a trainwreck - they are so horrible, but I can't help watching or maybe it's just because there's nothing on TV anymore at night... What's with the fugly bachelors - Flava Flav & Brett YUCK!
Posted by: Gina | March 27, 2008 at 02:11 PM
OMG too funny! I Tivo it--I'm not ashamed! lol
Posted by: Sinead | March 27, 2008 at 02:13 PM
Rock of love is my FAVE...I watch it with the kids...Seriously...LOVE it...Builds my self-esteem...My life's not that bad right?
LOL
love you...
love our taste in TV...
kiss kiss
dear friend...
m
Posted by: margie | March 27, 2008 at 03:08 PM
LOL! I'm right there with you. Not Rock of Love, Tori & Dean: Inn Love. Yep. It's my guilty pleasure. Embarrassing, but true.
Posted by: Maegan | March 27, 2008 at 03:10 PM
We don't get VH1 (only what comes in on the antenna on our garage-a handful of channels)so I did not even know this show existed. I am SO glad we don't get it because I watched the whole clip, laughing like an idiot, and and to use all my strength to not hit "replay"...hey, I have stuff to do! Thanks for the Belly-Buster, Cathy! Your Blog always makes my day better...
Posted by: Glee Scrap | March 27, 2008 at 03:54 PM
Cathy
I must admit I watch this show as well... the clip is too funny... I got "caught" watching the girls next door by my son (19) and he just rolled his eyes, and made some silly comment I am sure it had to do with my disdain for south park... ssshhh don't tell them I read this at work!! ha ha
Melissa
Posted by: Melissa Cavanaugh | March 27, 2008 at 04:40 PM
oh yeah...ROL II is my guilty pleasure. The Bachelor cannot hold a candle to this show. WOW. My DH doesn't understand...my girlfriends think I'm weird...and still...I watch it religiously! Thanks for the laugh, Cathy!
Posted by: kristen | March 27, 2008 at 04:44 PM
I watched the first season and was so glad he picked Jess. I started to watch the second season and just had to quit because it was so painful. He's cute, but I'm so suspicious of what's under that bandana.
Posted by: Rhea | March 27, 2008 at 05:10 PM
It's a nasty addiction, but somebody's gotta watch it... and it might as well be me and you. ;-) And I don't think Daisy even knows what a verb is, nonetheless a properly conjugated verb!
Posted by: marcia | March 27, 2008 at 05:46 PM
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!! My guilty pleasure too! I dvr it and watch it and erase it before the boyfriend catches me! I have a sneaking suspicion that that bandana doesnt come off because that hair strapped to his head/bandana is as fake as all the boobies on the show! Its too shiny and just doesnt look like real hair to me!
Posted by: Melissa | March 27, 2008 at 05:48 PM
First, I must ask: Whatza goin' on?
Second, you must check out Paul Schaffer's Rock of Love:
http://www.cbs.com/latenight/lateshow/video_player/index/php/947178.phtml
Posted by: Bubby | March 27, 2008 at 05:56 PM
I can't believe I missed this on SNL. Thanks for posting it. My husband cannot believe I watch that show. But I'm a sucker for MTV and VH1 reality. Nobody does it better.
Posted by: jenwcom | March 27, 2008 at 06:13 PM
Thank you...Thank you..
I am such a sucker for this show.. I also sit and say the same thing and I just cannot stop..
"Why doesn't he take of that damn bandana?"
Love that Trashy TV.
Peace
Posted by: sharon k | March 27, 2008 at 07:29 PM
I must have been flipping channels that same night, I had no idea what they were spoofing, but it was funny nonetheless. Thanks for posting it, now I can show my DH why I was laughing my a$$ off!
Posted by: Tee | March 27, 2008 at 08:15 PM
I can't stop with ROL . I need an intervention!
Posted by: Liz Simon | March 27, 2008 at 08:17 PM
That skit was hysterical! My favorite part was when she threw the McNuggets at him. Too funny.
Posted by: Erin Sweeney | March 27, 2008 at 08:23 PM
LOL! .. Maybe it is a secret obsession with scrapbookers! .. I too watch it (not on Sunday nights) when I happen to be flipping through and happen to catch it... I'm just sure it's going to be Daisy in the end ... and all I can keep thinking is her lips are too big for her face...
I too am thinking that bandana has hair attached to it....
Posted by: Lyn Meeker | March 27, 2008 at 11:29 PM
it's like reality crack to me too!
can't...stop...watching....
(I also downloaded all the episodes to my ipod so i can watch on the plane!)
Posted by: Kim Kwan | March 27, 2008 at 11:32 PM
Is this a farce? I've never heard of it, and can't seem to figure it out from this video. It's fake, right?
And if it's not, why is it taking him more than one season? How long can this go on?
Posted by: Lisa Stein | March 27, 2008 at 11:50 PM
That was GREAT! Add me to the "I can relate" list!
Posted by: Tonja Trump | March 28, 2008 at 04:34 AM
Hey Cathy,
Just wanted to let you know that SplitEnz played their penultimate show in Aucklands Vector Arena for their History Repeats tour (started in Australia 2 years ago). I was hoping to find a link for the news item of Tim Finn singing Poor Boy for you, but it is not yet loaded on TV3.
Also, I personally LURVE Bret Michaels (trashy TV or not, I have been a Bret and Poison fan for the last 20-odd years, lol), and I believe I am his dream woman - now how do I let him know this????lol. Poison played in NZ (Wellington) over Easter weekend, and I wasn't able to go... :(
Congratulations on your 2 years anniversary of not smoking. I have also just celebrated this - you stopped one week after me. Feels good to be smokefree, doesn't it?
Love Kate
Posted by: Kate Greenslade | March 28, 2008 at 05:20 AM
oh, i am so glad you have this here. as i was reading i was going to ask you if you had seen it. i have only seen bits of the actual show when my niece's are over here, but that skit is hilarious!
Posted by: lynn whelan | March 28, 2008 at 07:07 AM
I'm just glad I'm not the only girl that is getting a real kick out of this completely ridiculous show! Loved the SNL skit - thanks for posting it for us!
Stacy (Alberta, Canada)
Posted by: StacyS. | March 28, 2008 at 09:52 AM
I'm laughing so hard right now. I can't breathe! LOL! My husband and I watch Rock of Love too. We have no idea why but we can't help ourselves. And the more shows we watch the more we can't help but wonder what really *is* going on under that bandana? LOL
Posted by: suzanne | March 28, 2008 at 05:23 PM
I can't decide what I like better -- "Rock of Love," or reading the recaps on Television Without Pity. I must say, I was extreeeeeeemely disappointed to see Megan go. It disproved my theory that Bret was totally in it for the hottest chick in the room.
Bad hair plugs -- that's what's going on under the bandana-wig.
Posted by: Shannon | March 29, 2008 at 06:11 PM
If you "accidentally" land on this show each week while flipping it's not the same as being pulled into the vortex of reality tv is it??? Anyhoo, if you are truly interested in finding out the truth about the bandanna, and all things Bret Michaels, he plays at Pov's in Andover a few times a year. Be sure to wear your acid wash jeans!
Posted by: Denise L. | March 29, 2008 at 08:39 PM
DH and I are ashamed to admit that we watch Rock of Love. Michaels won't take off the bandanna because I firmly believe that he's BALD under there, and that the hair is SEWN to the bandanna.
I'm just waiting for the end of the train wreck because I KNOW that VH1 will start a new season of "The Pick Up Artist" as soon as this ends.
Posted by: Christine | March 29, 2008 at 10:28 PM
Seriously those girls are the biggest skanks. But what is even more chilling is I have seen Megan before on Beauty and the Geek, my hub's (Dan) is obsessed with that show (sigh).
Posted by: Shannon | March 29, 2008 at 11:15 PM
I somehow landed on your blog looking for a Rock of Love recap! That was the funniest thing ever.
As an after shock, I realized you are my srcap hero! How's that for some rockin' mindless Tuesday surfin'?
Posted by: tommie | April 01, 2008 at 10:48 PM
OMG - I can't look away either, even when it's reruns that I've seen before. Even my kids are telling me, "Mom, you shouldn't be watching that crap"...and I know they're right. I don't even CARE who wins, and I never listened to Poison back in the day, and Bret deserves whichever mindless bimbo he ends up with, since he is only governed by his manparts. Oh well. Better turn the channel over to Flavor of Love...
Posted by: Lauren | April 02, 2008 at 12:17 AM
ok...LOVED this skit! Too funny, I watch but not religiously..(can't get control of the tv long enough to watch a whole episode)!
But this is the funniest part...Bret and the boys are coming to the Hard Rock Casino and in the promos you hear all the songs..."get your tickets now." etc. Then there is a disclaimer at the end of the promo..."show may be cancelled without any notice" blah blah blah...wow!!! Who would buy tickets to that? LOL
thought you would get a kick out of the disclaimer at the end of the add to "come see the boys rock you all night" (show may be cancelled without notice). LOL
Thanks for the belly laugh...too funny!
Posted by: Laura Lee | April 03, 2008 at 11:06 PM