Disclaimer: If you are a man, or a woman under, oh, about 38, or maybe someone who is squeamish about the middle aged female experience, this post is not for you.
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
Holy sweat balls, people, it's not just me, is it? Or is it?
So here's my little middle aged story of the week: a few years ago, I went on a low dose birth control pill to help with irregular special monthly visitors. The results were good. Fewer days in, ahem, the process, and fewer cramps.
I don't need to be on any birth control at this time in my life. Dan took care of that issue 6 years ago. (Thank you, honey! So appreciate you!) But after I met with a nutritionist back in May, she strongly urged me to stop taking the Pill if I didn't need it. She said I should see where I'm at naturally. I said, "Why not?"
Four weeks after stopping the pill the hot flashes started.
Let me describe them: instaneously, I'm super heated from head to toe and it lasts for, oh… maybe three minutes or so. And this now happens up to 8 times a day.
Doesn't really matter what I'm doing. I could be running, or sitting, making dinner or settling into bed for a crappy night's sleep.
And while I am thankful for reaching this age (and I truly am) and I realize that this is just part of life (I get this, I really do), I am still allowed to say that part of this new experience sucks total and complete ass.
I mean seriously.
So I guess today, I'm wondering about all of this. I have checked in with Dr. Google and found the following things can affect the issue:
• coffee
• wine
• sugar
Hmmm. Let's see… as an ex-smoker, there is a mentality that I carry with me and it goes something like this: you can take my coffee away when you pry my mug from my cold, dead hand. Granted, it's the caffeine they say can trigger the hot flashes, and my coffee is made from a half caf/half decaf custom bean blend, but still… a former addict needs some vice, doesn't she?
The wine? Well, honestly, that's just a new thing I'm trying out this summer. Not a requirement at all. I can deal with that one.
But the sugar? Well, why not just say my nemesis continues to bite me in the tushka.
And then there's this: I'm 46. Is this too young to be having this issue already? Does this mean by the time I'm 65 I will be hunched over an immovable?
I know you're not shy about weighing in ladies, so weigh away.
This perimenopausal mama needs some input.
And more ice packs. Thank you.

















