Cathy Zielske's Blog

Preparing to reboot (aka the elephant in the room)

Save for a few posts recently about my foot surgery, I haven't really been talking about my health and fitness and chub-related things.

Maybe you didn't notice?

I was hoping you didn't notice.

Now before you look at the title of this post and think it is in any way related to fat-shaming myself with the mention of the word 'elephant,' let me assure you, that ain't where this is headed.

Here's a very short story:

In 2010 I decided to get in shape. I worked out 6 to 7 days a week, followed Weight Watchers to the point and droppd 40 pounds in 10 months. Then I spent the next few years figuring out how to eat real food and how to move my body with regularity.

Along the way I learned about nutrition, worked on becoming a runner and swimmer, and—more importantly—worked on my insides as well.

Then I gained every single pound back plus one.

And I am still an awesome person.

And I am still a work in progress.

Sure, there were some mitigating factors, but the reality is this: I haven't been doing what is needed to be strong and fit as I can personally be.

It's not about blame. It's about facts.

One thing I've learned throughout the past few years of teaching my Move More, Eat Well class at Big Picture Classes is that getting down on yourself and lamenting your situation isn't very productive. Sure, whining has its place but then it's time for it to move on down the road so you can focus on what is true and what is needed.

Right now, I am in the middle of a reboot; a reconnection to making better choices and moving my body with the ultimate goal of shedding a few libbies and feeling fewer aches and pains.

I know that posting every month about dropping yet another 10 pounds might look inspiring on the surface, and I suppose back when I was doing that, I felt a real sense of pride and control over my situation. But if a way of living isn't sustainable, it's back to the drawing board.

I really did get tired of eating 22 points a day. That is a fact.

But here's the deal: I just want to be stronger and healthier and heck, maybe even live a bit longer because of the choices I make. I don't want to forsake a glass of wine with dinner. I don't want to never eat the amazing pies my daughter bakes. I don't want to make my issues with chub affect the people around me.

This is my deal and I just want to take the best care of me that I can. Period.

Part of this process will always be about attitude. The other part is all about information. What do you know about how you tick? What is it that motivates you to take better care of yourself? What is it that sends you back to the drawing board? And, what can you do about it?

I decided to focus on these very aspects to create a new 31-day workshop called the Move More, Eat Well Jumpstart. You guys know I'm not a personal trainer or a licensed nutritionist. I'm just a woman, wife and mom who is looking for balance and better health.

And I like to scrapbook about it as I go.

Here's a little promo video about the new class, which kicks off as a live workshop on January 1. After January, it will become a self-paced class that you can take for any 31-day chunk you like. Whenever you feel it's time to kickstart your  health and fitness process, the class will be ready and waiting.

Take a peek at the clip:

Say Hello to the Move More, Eat Well Jumpstart from Cathy Zielske on Vimeo.

To learn more about the class or to sign up, click here. If you have any questions, by all means, leave me a comment today and I'm happy to answer.

I really do believe that every day is a chance to live healthier and make better choices. It's not about being the skinniest girl in the room and it's most definitely not about perfection. 

I hope you'll join me in January for a jumpstart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They tried to make me go to rehab…

Physical therapy has begin in earnest on my big toe.

I showed up last week for my first appointment with Joe, who looked me straight in the eye and said, "Every minute we spend together is going to put you in pain."

I said, "OH, sort of like marriage counseling?" 

He smiled.

I told him I will do everything he tells me to do. He told me I may never regain full range of motion, it may swollen for months, if not forever, and that I may have permanent pain.

Well then. He's a bit more direct than my doctor who simply said, "You won't drive for three weeks."

I mean, it didn't hurt this bad before the surgery. In fact, not even remotely so.

In any case, I decided it was time to lace up and get moving again, pain or no pain. So I picked up a new fitness gadet in the form of a Fitbit Flex. I'm a huge fan of Fitbit. My only problem is that I was tending to accidentally wash them. They only like to be washed once, apparently. This new wrist style FitBit might be the perfect fit, no pun intended. It'll be hard to throw that down the laundry chute. (The clip-on models were always on my bra, ergo, accidental washings galore.)

I set a modest step goal of 5,000 to start. It's crazy how little I was moving and yet how easy it was to hit that mark in one day of simply trying.

My present goal is back to 10,000. I have a number to aim for and every step is good for my rehab efforts.

I realized how gadget-oriented I am. I love the idea of tracking steps. Every little bit adds up, especially when you've been in any sort of forced inactivity.

That, and I love hot pink. And $10 from the sale of each hot pink Fitbit Flex goes to the American Cancer Society.

I know we are heading straight for holiday season central—Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas—but right now, I'm just feeling really grateful for the opportunity to get this middle-aged bod moving again.

Now I'm off to see Joe for my bi-weekly dose of pain. Wish me luck.

 

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.

I was in the kitchen the other day making dinner and I realized—which happens to me every time I wear my black yoga pants and this particularly puffy oversized shirt from Old Navy—that I looked like a swashbuckling pirate.

I looked like the Dread Pirate Roberts, minus the mask and the tight little tushka.

Dan was sitting at the kitchen table and I brandished a shish-kebab skewer and did my best Mandy Patinkin. (I know, I know—Westley was the dread pirate Roberts, but stay with me here.) He snapped photos accordingly, at my request.

Then I saw the pics on my phone and it hit me: my body has really changed.

And not exactly in the way I've been shooting for.

I do not a-think you look like you think you look.

Now if you aren't a fan of laments, stop reading now. Not that I am planning this to be one big whine fest, but who can say where it will go once I get warmed up.

I realized the other day that I have been struggling with my weight since I was 30. Math genius that I am, this comes to 17 years of up, down, thin, plump—you know the drill.

It has been an issue for a good chunk of my time here on ol' big blue.

As I have written here before, my "therapist" (she says what we do really isn't therapy) has told me I simply keep this a problem in my life because it allows me to act like a child and indulge every whim rather than do what is needed, which is to feed my body healthy, nutrient dense food in appropriate amounts and to exercise.

As shocking as it is that I, in fact, pay her to tell me these things, the truth of the matter is, I believe her.

Here's the deal: I don't have the be skinny anymore. I tell myself this all the time and it's very comforting. It's very "I'm okay, you're okay." It's very touchy-feely. It's very "I am enough as I am."

But there is a part of me that knows deep down I use it as an excuse to continue keeping this a problem. To continue saying, "Oh hell! Life is short. Let's make cookies!"

But I never just make cookies.

I make batches of them and wash it all down with delicious, sugar-filled sodas. And potato chips. And copious amounts of Reese's Peanut Butter minis.

That's the child in me. That's the addict in me. And that's not okay. It's not enough.

Not only that, the future health consequences could be deadly. That is a fact.

Here's another fact: I can do better. Not super-model thin better. Just a healthier better. 

I know this experientially from the work I've done with my "therapist" since 2010. I've been making changes in so many areas of my life. It has been a laborious, painstaking process on so many levels. It has required me to look at my inadequacies, something that isn't fun and doesn't make me feel good.

I've spent a lifetime of trying to find ways to feel good. Eating crap is just one in a long list of things I've tried.

We make changes by facing facts and doing what is needed. That's where my head is at today, on this random day in April 2013. I'm shooting for competence. And adulthood.

Not feeling sorry for myself. Not putting judgments on anything.

Honestly, there's no other place I'd rather be that here, stumbling through and figuring it out as I go.

How's that for a Tale from the Scale?

This pirate-laden post has been brought to you by:

Move More, Eat Well isn't just about tough love. It's about connecting with what you need and doing the best you can to achieve your goals. It's a process that is neither easy nor automatic. Each month, I share more of this journey and scrapbook the story as I go. I've got a group of like minded women who are doing the same. You can join us any time during 2013. You never know what will inspire you to do what is neeed. For more information, click here.

p.s. I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts. My real name is Cathy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smoke and mirrors and truth

March has been a reset month for me both mentally and physically.

I think my birthday had something to do with it. You know how much I adore my birthday, right? But it also reminds me that I'm here and that I need a solid plan to make sure I stay as long as possible.

As of today, I've already logged 23 miles running and yesterday, I hit the pool for some lap swimming for the first time since January. January!

And while it would have been helpful to remember to shave my legs, the workout went fairly well. 

I took a photo of myself before heading off to the gym yesterday morning, posted it to Facebook and got a bunch of nice compliments on how fit and trim I looked. 

Sure, I felt all warm and fuzzy after reading the words of friends, but I'm going to tell you this, and it has absolutely zero to do with any body dismorphic issues: I don't look like this in reality.

You know how you can put one leg forward, angle the camera just so, and then drape your bag so it hits right in front of your hip, effectively reducing your size visually? Yeah, me too.

All I could think to myself was, "It's all smoke and mirrors, people."

And I don't say that to demean my efforts or myself. It just is a fact.

Maybe it's because earlier in the day I had read an article about a photographer in Minneapolis who is responsible for The Nu Project (Note: there is full nudity on this site so if you're offended by that sort of thing, it's not for you).

The Nu Project is all about photographing women in their homes and other environments and yes, it's all done without clothes.

As I clicked through the images yesterday, I couldn't help but feel empowered as I saw womens' bodies that reminded me of my own body. The stretch marks, the imperfections, the extra chub, the breasts that look nothing like ones you see in the movies, and so on.

It simply celebrates the truth of female bodies, and I found that incredibly inspiring.

There are no smoke and mirrors used in the photos you'll see there.

I shared this site with my daughter and we had a conversation about body image and nudity and she told me, "I actually feel my best without clothes on."

Imagine that. 

This post isn't to say I'm going to track down this local photographer and get naked anytime soon, but it definitely made me want to embrace what is real and true.

And to start moving away from the smoke and mirrors.

 

Thanks to Nisa for posting about The Nu Project on Facebook the other day.

 

 

 

Ebb and flow and chub

It happens slowly.

One day, you're hovering around a weight that makes you feel confident, strong and successful, and a year-and-a-half later, you're not.

Today's post was not planned to be a lament. In fact, sometimes I hesitate posting laments because there will always be someone who calls me out for being a baby, and then I feel even worse about myself, and then I usually buck up and get down to the business of doing what is needed.

Maybe it should be a lament.

Long story short: remember that weight I lost working my little tushka off? It's almost all back. Almost. Not quite. Just about. Five more pounds and yes, ladies and gentlemen, we'll have a bingo!

If you've never had any issues with food or body image or weight, this concept might seem completely foreign and ridiculous to you. Up and down. Back and forth. Gains, losses and gains.

I was thinking about it the other day and realized: I'm 46 years old and this has been an issue for much of my adult life. 

Of course, I didn't really experience it so much in my 20s because I smoked myself silly. (As if that wasn't an issue in and of itself, right?)

But since I have attempted to live a life free of nicotine (beginning at age 30, and off and on until I quit for good at 40), weight and food and body image have been an issue.

The whole body image issue, well, that's layered deeply in the minutiae of my personal development and goes a bit beyond what I'm addressing today. But the weight and food thing? Let's just say I'm getting tired of the ebb and flow for which I am fully responsible for inviting to the party.

In my Move More, Eat Well class, there is a lot of room for brutal truth. Looking at your choices. Spending time thinking about why you are making those choices and so on.

There is also room for support and comfort. I've been offering a lot more of the latter to myself during the past year. And while that approach makes me feel better, my yoga pants are feeling more and more like my wardrobe's Last Great Stretchy Hope.

Do you ever find yourself looking at people for whom weight and food do not seem to be a problem? (Of course, judging a person by how they look, well… that's a little silly and presumptuous, but bear with me for a second.) 

I do this and I wonder a) what that would be like, to just stay the same size, enjoy a treat every now and then and not always seem to be on the verge of having to buy bigger clothes? and b) do they have just as many issues surrounding food and weight as I do?

I suppose that's going to have to be a rhetorical question for now. 

I'm okay with not having the answers to all of this. Most of the time. There are still many positives in this process, the main one being I'm stronger and healthier than I used to be as a skinny, smelly smoker.

I still run three miles a pop. I walk just about every single day. I wear my FitBit and always shoot to log as many steps as I can.

Most importantly, I'm trying to work on the inside stuff, which I do believe is a lot more important than the shell in which it all resides.

Lastly, I try to stay connected to what is real and what is needed. And I can guarantee you my therapist will tell me that is that very last thing I'm doing on this particular subject.

Just talking out loud today. I've been feeling a bit heavy in more ways than one, and sometimes it helps me to write it all out.

Know what I'm saying?

 

To learn more about Move More, Eat Well 2.0, click on the image below. You can join at any time in 2013. A new classroom will go up on March 1.We'd love to have you join our community of people who are working to Move More and Eat Well in 2013.

 

From the front lines of Chub Reduction: February 2013

Warning: In this post I will talk about both exercising and Breaking Bad. There will be no spoilers on either topic. Thank you.

Holy crap, you guys! Did you know you can combine exercise with television? Did you? Anyone? How did I miss this memo? 

Maybe it's because my basement, though it contains a television, isn't exactly set up for treadmill-based viewability. Maybe it's because I've been so gung ho about running that I never considered not listening to music while on the 'mill.

Whatever the case, I decided a few weeks ago to give my ailing foot a rest from the run, and set out to walk every day in an effort to keep this old bod moving on a daily basis.

Then, I signed up for Netflix and figured out how to use my iPad on the treadmill.

Let me just say this: I have logged over 140,000 steps during the past two weeks and I owe it all to Mr. White.

Someone once told me I would probably like Breaking Bad. But you know how it is: there are only so many hours in the day to start watching a new TV show, and honestly, I don't have a lot of loyalty so many shows. I watch The Walking Dead, Glee, American Horror Story and New Girl. Anything else I manage to catch is gravy.

Until now.

I knocked back all four seasons of Breaking Bad in two weeks, much of it while walking and logging steps with my FitBit. 

I'm not going to say anything about the show to spoil it (and I have yet to start the first half of Season 5, so please no spoilers) but I'm sort of in love with this show.

Though it has me shaking my head in disbelief and actually shouting at the iPad: Walter? What the HELL? I really think it's a brilliant little bit of television. 

I always wondered why the show and its actors kept winning Emmy's. Now I know why.

But the best part is that I combined the ultimate time suck (TV) with exercise, and both me and my foot are very thankful for the past two weeks.

Granted, I won't say it's made me notably thinner, but it has given me a little peek into a crazy world that I find fascinating and simultaneously sad and repulsive. 

Still, let's be honest here: Jesse Pinkman is kind of hot.

So my question for you today, how many of you find ways to combine a little exercise with something you love? Be it TV, or music, or whatever?

This year, one of my goals is to continue to find sustainable ways to move more. If I can't run because something's amiss with a body part, well, what can I do instead? Another goal is to not be so hard core in my efforts. Meaning, I'm trying to just be realistic and balance my life with family, food, work and play.

Breaking Bad certainly fills part of the play bill, so to speak.

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To learn more about Move More, Eat Well 2.0, click on the image below. You can join at any time in 2013. A new classroom just went up for the month of February.We'd love to have you join our community of people who are working to Move More and Eat Well in 2013.

 

 

 

 

 

Tales from the Scale: Guess what? I'm pretty alright

On January 1st, it was time to do one thing I'd been avoiding, pretty much all through the month of December. You know, it was time to pay the piper, face the music, pay the bill—I'm at a loss for any more metaphors, so I'll just come out and say it: it was time to step on the scale.

I'd like to first point out that what a person weighs has absolutely zero correlation to their inherent worth. I truly believe this. It's taken me a good long while to connect to it, but today I believe this wholeheartedly.

That said, if you can't bend over to tie your shoes without your stomach causing interference, I call that a mobility issue. Mobility is something that makes living every day just a little bit easier.

So when I saw the number was 177.6, my first thought was, "Oh s#@t!"

My next thought was, "Wow. That's almost where I started."

And my third thought was, "So, what are you gonna do about it, sister? Ain't no use crying over mountains of beautifully iced holiday cookies!"

And so it begins. For me, it's a gentle return to making healthier choices.

I have no intention of being some skinny minny. I have no desire to try and make my stomach hard and flat. Honestly. I am not built that way. Not physically or genetically.

People don't love me more if I'm a size 8. In fact, I'd bet money they like me less because I'm a lot more black and white when I do make it to that size category. When I'm black and white, I'm a lot less fun to be around.

My goal isn't to be less fun, you know?

So I simply shoot to move more and eat well.

Someone shared this awesome post by filmmaker Michael Moore with me the other day, and it really resonated with me. He writes: "Quit trying to be something you're not, be happy with the life you've been given, and just go for a pleasant walk outside." 

Just the idea that you can simply try to move around more, enjoy the life you've been given and get a little healthier as you go.

I embrace the idea that we aren't all supposed to be tiny little things. 

Yes, we can all do things to make our lives healthier. I know that when I'm eating good, whole, healthy foods and moving my body, my mind works better. My moods are more even. Things hurt less.

That sounds pretty good to me, you know? I want that as my focus.

It's also going to be my focus for my online workshop, Move More, Eat Well.

Each month in class, we journal about our story and as I was writing, I realized that there really has been a shift in my attitude about all of this. Feeling sorry for myself is just about the worst motivation I can think of. Instead, framing this process in a more positive, nurturing light is how I'm going to connect to feeling better overall.

I'll definitely check in monthly here as well to let you know how it's all shaking out.

For now, it's all systems go.

To learn more about Move More, Eat Well 2.0, click on the image below. You can join at any time in 2013. Tomorrow at Noon Eastern, I'm hosting a kick off video chat for my students. I'm hoping to take this message and really inspire people to continue striving to make small and lasting changes and doing it in a very life affirming, nurturing way.

 

 

 

Move More, Eat Well 2.0, an invitation (and a talk from Ye Olde 'Mill)

It's that time of year again, the time of grand, life-altering pronouncements known collectively as resolutions.

I've known this time well over the years.

Nearly every single year during my 20s and most of my 30s, my resolutions always included the following:

eat better

exercise better

quit smoking

I didn't manage to quitting smoking until I turned 40, and the whole Move More, Eat Well part? It followed in my 43rd year.

But let me tell you something about resolutions: I don't buy 'em.

To me, resolutions are things we set up in our minds that we want to be really firm in our commitment to, but then when we miss the mark, they seem to encourage us to give up somehow. They whisper in our ears, "It's okay… you gave it your best shot… you can't really make this change happen."

There's a crash-and-burn factor that is all to familiar when making resolutions. It's that all or nothing mentality. If you miss the mark, somehow, the journey ends. 

I think a much more revolutionary thing to do when you're setting out to make changes is to work more on your attitude, an attitude that says: Guess what? I'm not perfect, but I'm going to keep showing up and trying.

The past 12 months have not been a success for me, if you're only measuring my worth in weight. Yes, I put on 12 pounds since January 1st. But I also kept exercising and I worked really hard in my personal life to make changes that made me a much more loving and loveable person. In short: I put a lot of effort into living the best life possible and to me, that's really what this whole self-care revolution is all about.

How can you connect to your life and give yourself the time and care that is needed?

That, my friends, is really at the core of Move More, Eat Well 2.0. This class isn't a competition to Skinnyville. It's simply a way to document how your care for yourself and to understand your successes and failures along the way. 

Failure isn't a term I shy away from anymore because what may initially seem like a negative is really a positive. It all depends on how you look at it. I've learned, and continue to learn, that my perceived failures are really just opportunities for growth and understanding.

And then, I just continue to keep showing up.

I recorded a short video from my basement—a Treadmill Talk, if you will—to invite you to consider joining me for a year of Moving More and Eating Well.

I'm not a personal trainer or a licensed nutritionist. I do not have a secret revelation that will make this process easier. But I'm here, knee deep in the hoopla of showing up and trying to make small changes that add up to better health and overall fitness.

An Invitation to Move More & Eat Well, The Treadmill Talk Series from Cathy Zielske on Vimeo.

  

To learn more about Move More, Eat Well 2.0 click here. 

I'd love to see you in class on January 1st. But if you're not ready then, no problem. I'll be there all year long.

 

Chubby Hubby

This is not going to be a post about Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

Nor will it be about my decidedly non-chubby hubby Dan.

And while there is a link between them, this is really—surprise, surprise—all about me.

Many of you know I've been trying Move More and Eat Well for coming up on three years. 

You know because you've read about the ups, the downs and the many in-betweens of this little health quest of mine over the past 36 months. (And if you've been reading me even longer, many more whines have been posted along the way.) And you've shared a lot of your own very personal stories in the comments over these past many months.

This is not a whine post today. It, like some of my State of the Marriage posts, is hopefully about the truth.

So are you ready for it? The truth? It's not going to come as some big hoo ha, but here it is:

This s#@t is hard for me.

I feel like the lyrics from a ZZ Top song…I been up, I been down… (and for you ZZ Top fans, maybe I am, in fact, looking for some 'tush'—looking for some, ahem, smaller tush, and specifically the size of my own.)

Let me back up with a quick short story about 2012.

On January 1, I weighed 160 pounds. Then I gained 10 pounds in 11 months. The end.

Okay, there's actually more because what you need to know is that I started 2012 up 19 pounds from the sacred low of October 2010.

I'll do the math here: of the 40 I lost back in 2010, 29 are back.

Just so you know, one of the purposes of moving more and eating well is to have a scale that measures a smaller number, or at the very least, one that stays the same.

That said, if there's one thing I've finally connected to this year it's that it's not just about a number on the scale.

So here are the facts:

• At 170 pounds, I'm physically in the best cardiovascular shape of my life, more or less. I can run 3 miles without passing out; I can swim 30 minutes nonstop and am in no danger of drowning.

• My connection to exercise and better mental health has never been stronger. I can attest to this because as I've slacked off on exercise this fall, I've felt far more life stress than at any time in the past three years.

• My attitude remains one of "I can actually do this thing" as opposed to "Oh HADES! Pass me the Sprite and Cheez-Its!"

 

Here's some more truth: my therapist, who I believe has helped me not only save my marriage but also has helped to save me in pretty much every way possible layed this on me: why would I want to solve my weight problem? I thrive on having a problem. When I keep it a problem, it means I get to keep acting like the child I've been all these years. Acting like a child = indulge myself by eating all manner of foods that really don't fall into the Eating Well category.

Ouch.

But if she wasn't delivering some truth there, it wouldn't hurt to hear it, now would it?

I know there are those of you for whom this is a no-brainer process. And you may sit back and say, "Jeez Zielske, figure it out!" 

I assure you, I'm trying to figure it out. Every day is an opportunity to do better. To move more. To eat well. To care for this veritable temple of a body that I am so fortunate to have.

But back to the chubby hubby connection. Here's another story:

When Dan went to Slovenia last Spring, we realized in those 11 days apart that this whole thing we've got going? It's a good thing. It led to six months of food and wine and fun. I was completely plugged into experiencing life—still am, mind you—but it also included a lack of sound judgment as far as quantities and calories have gone.

The fact is that Dan and I don't share metabolic similarities. I can't go mental with food unless I'm running hours every week. And with a nagging foot injury that I'm presently dealing with, that's just not possible.

I love my hubby. I let myself get chubby. 

Now it's time to focus. 

I'm not pretending that somehow I magically gained weight with zero understanding of how it happened.

 

My Move More, Eat Well students know my story this year very well. I don't try to present them with the idea that HEY! Look at me! I have it all goin' on!

They, like me, are works in progress. God love 'em.

I am continuing on with the journey and I'm also going to run Move More, Eat Well 2.0 in 2013. 

And just because it's almost December doesn't mean I'm going to wait until January 1 to get serious. 

Heck no. Today's as good as day as any, right?

What about you? Where are you at as the year begins to wind down and what are your plans for 2013 as far as taking care of you go?

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For a short audio message about Move More, Eat Well 2.0, click here.

 

 

 

Two years ago, right now (another lurid tale from the scale)

This is not going to be a woe-is-me, what-the-hell-happened kind of blog post. In case you're wondering. Nope. Not going to go there.

Okay, maybe just a tiny bit.

I was going through my iPhoto library over the weekend, looking for some specific shots for a project and came across a series of photos of me in my hallway mirror in October 2010, and I remembered what it felt like to have a new skirt, new boots and a new waistline to match.

This was me at 141 pounds, after losing 41 extra libbies. This was me after 10 months of religious adherence to the Weight Watchers plan. This was me, thinking, "Oh yeah, baby. NOW life begins!"

I so got this.

Of course, I did not 'so got that'. Not really. Not at all, some might have said.

So began the past two years of slowly moving back up the BMI chart. When I started teaching Move More, Eat Well, I was very inspired at the idea of making changes that would stick. When that class began, I had worked my way up to around 160, and I was hell bent on getting back to where I'd once landed.

It didn't quite work out that way.

One of the positives of the past two years, however, is a commitment to getting my move on. Whether it's been running, walking, swimming, biking, or hanging out with Jillian Michaels in my family room, I've made the effort to Move More whenever possible. And I've realized that even if it isn't the magic key to weight loss, it is a key to a clearer mind and a calmer heart.

The summer, specifically August, saw a huge drop off in my exercise habits. I could make some tepid excuses about bone spurs and foot pain, but as I have learned, there are always other things you can do. I just got sloppy.

And if I get sloppy in moving my body, the food component—or rather, the crappy food component—catches up in a big way. And fast.

In my class this year, it has been all about keeping it real and not giving up. Even when you feel defeated. Even when you start to think, as I have, "Oh, shit. Here we go again."

As I sit here typing, following a 3.5 mile run where things didn't really hurt all that bad, glowing red like a freshly cooked lobster, I still believe that I have the capability of living a healthy, fit life. That I can figure out this insane sugar habit I seem to have picked up in my life. That I can be the changes I truly want to see.

I mean, hells bells, I quit smoking. I think that qualifies me to do just about anything.

So I'm puffy right now. So I'm not doing what I know how to do. 

There's really no need to mope about now is there? Every day is a whole new ball game.

The possibilities are actually pretty endless.

That's where my head is today.

How about you?